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POEMS



POEMS
by Mom
My Dear Fay    Why  FAY         Dear Fay   For Phyl   


 
Why  FAY  

On February 25th,
my beautiful little baby got hurt.
2 days later, my little girl was gone.

On February 28th,  
Faymaree  shared part of herself
to a little girl,
Giving her another chance of life.

During those 3 days,
I felt so much pain and suffering for her.
As I watched her, I felt so helpless,
being a doctor and a mother
I felt so devastated…

I wish everything was just dream,
I wish I would wake up
 and see her by my side.
I wish Fay could have shared
 more time with us…
but she had to go.



I wish Fay would come back …
but She will never will.
She is now in Heaven…
She is now an ANGEL.

I sit.... I stare... and I wonder.
...Why Her? ...
She did not deserve this.
She is just a Baby.
 ...Why not me?...  
Why does this had to happen
to such a Sweet Angel.  
...Why Fay?...
Will there ever be an answer...
Can there be an answer...
Only God knows…
And I have faith in God
Only He knows the reason.
With faith,
I submit to God
All my anger, my regrets,
my pain and suffering….
After all, he is our Creator.

Mommy 3-01-01  
(read during the memorial service)



 
Dear
 Mommy
 God sent me down to be with you,
     To make your loving Heart anew.
     To help you look up and see,
     Both God and Little Me.

Mommy, I wish I could stay,
     Just like I heard you pray.
     But, all the Angels did cry,
     When they told Little Me, Goodbye.

God didn't take me cause He's mad,
He didn't send me to make you sad.
But to give us both a chance to be,
A Love so precious… don't you see?

Up here no trouble do I see
And the pretty Angels sing to me.
The streets of gold is where I play,
You'll come here too, Mommy, someday.

Until the day you join me here,
I'll love you Mommy, Dear,
Each breeze you feel and see,
Brings Love and a Kiss from Me

From
Ms. Jen (CCE Teacher)
(read during the memorial service)













 DEAR FAY
I am so sorry
I wish I could have been a better mother…
I wish I could have given more …
I wish I could have done more …
…I wish I do not have to let you go
but I have to
I wish I could travel with you in your journey,
But I will have no worry
God is with you.

Now
you are
My
PERFECT
ANGEL
and
forever alive
in my Heart.

I will miss you very much...
And all that is around me
   will remind me of you…
The beauty of the flowers,
The radiance of the sun,
The sweetness of the honey,
For the great God that created
 the heavens and the earth
also created you.

I think about the name you called me
And it makes me cry...
Because I can still hear you say,
"I love you Mama," you would say
as you sat in my lap.
You will always be my Baby.





 
 MY DEAR FAY
On your one month

Today is  the  first month
That you've been away
And it seems like just yesterday
That I was kissing and hugging you
And telling you that
 I love you so very much.

I look and listen, day and night,
for just a glimpse of you.

Everyday,
the longing is increasing
And  I feel the worsening pain
cutting through my soul.
Everyday,
 the fight  is  getting tougher
Trying to accept  the reality that
You will never be here again.

They say
that time will heal my heart
I found this is not so.
With you,  my heart went too.


    
 

 My love for you filled me up.
I didn't think I could be more blessed.
I love you Fay,very, very much,
and for always
And I know you know this.
You could only guess how much
You gave to me in Happiness.

  Thank you
for your love, and
For the memories you shared with us.

Thank you
for the gift of Life
You gave to another precious girl.

Thank you
For being a Great Daughter.
You are truly God's creation!
A gift that was Heaven sent.

I will miss you Fay,  very much,
But I'll smile through my tears…
I'll go on
and I'll take you with me
deep within my heart.
I'll look back
 without turning back
and remember the love we shared.

You'll be the radiance in my smile
the sparkle in my eyes...
You'll be my strength…
My hope...
 and always, always...
the most precious gift of my lifetime.

Goodbye Fay…for now
Until we meet again
at the gates of Heaven
As you say,
“Welcome Home”

Mommy 3- 02 - 01  
(read during the memorial service)  




They say  
I must get over this,
I have a life to live.
You are my life
 and my whole world.
And to have you back,
even for just one day,
Oh, what I would not give,  
even my life.

They say
 that you are happy now,
in a better place than I.
They say that you are now
 an Angel and a Saint in Heaven.
Yes,  I am very proud
and  happy for you,
Yet tears  fall from my eyes.

They say to give it all to God,
And this was just I did a month ago.

I love you Fay so-o very much
and I terribly missed you.

Mama  3- 27 - 01

 
For Phyl
I can feel your sadness
and your pain….
I wish you
never had experience these
And I am so sorry.
It will be painful for a while…
But we have to go on Phyl.

Fay will always be your sister….
And now she is your
Guardian Angel.
She is watching, like angels do.

Keep her close in your heart
Make her your inspiration
And dedicate all your dreams and achievements to her.
Make her your reason
for the future,
Both for Heaven and Earth.

Always take care of yourself.
And just like she would always say,
"Don't give up"

Always remember
that she loves you very much.
Your Dad and I love you too
as much as we loved her.
And we are always here for you,
as we have always been.
You stay strong
 for yourself … for us…
 but especially for Fay.

Mommy 3-02-01
(read during the memorial service)


A PARENT'S
REQUEST 
When my precious Fay left us, a big part of me vanished.  Losing a child is the worst loss...it is  different...it is out of order of things. I am gravely wounded and my heart is permanently broken.  My heart is so loudly screaming... the emptiness I feel is consuming me.  I feel  I am walking in the valley of  the shadow of death while others walked in the sunlight.  Those  who have not experienced this ultimate loss may not  really understand how I feel. No words can describe the pain. The agonizing incision of the loss is too deep...too deep for tears and beyond the reach of human consolation.  

My life took a very different turn.  I am not the same person I was before, and will never be that person again. I hope you understand how my life had been shattered. I am working very hard in my recovery,  but I wish you could understand that I will never fully recover. I wish you wouldn't expect my grief to be over in six months. These first months are traumatic for me, but I wish you could understand that my  grief will never be over. I will always miss my child, and I will suffer  until the day I  see  my Fay  again.I don’t want to have a "pity party,"  but I do wish you would let me grieve.  I must hurt before I can heal.






Some of you  admired  my strength.
But I am not strong. I feel that I have lost control  and I panic when I think about tomorrow....next week....next year. Your advice to "take one day at a time"  is excellent . However, a day is too much and too fast for me right now. I wish you could understand that I’m doing good to handle an hour at a time.

When I say "I’m doing okay,"  I wish you could understand that I don’t "feel" okay and that I struggle everyday. I  go about the routine of my job. I complete my assigned tasks. I smile when appropriate.  But in my privacy,  I  cry until I am exhausted and can finally sleep. Sometimes I want to lock the door and hide from the world.
I  wish you wouldn’t be afraid to talk about  my child. She will always be my favorite topic.  My child  was very important to me. I need to hear that she was important to you too . If I cry or get sad when you talked  about Fay, it is not because you have hurt me, but  it is because she is no longer here with me.  You have talked about my child, and you have allowed me to share my grief. I thank you for both.





I wish you wouldn’t expect me "not to think about it" or to "be happy."  Neither will happen for a very long time. Nothing is easy as it once was. I know I must strive for pleasure but  it will not  be the same again.

 I wish you knew that all of the grief reactions I’m having are very normal. Depression, anger, hopelessness, and overwhelming sadness are all to be expected.  So please excuse me when I’m quiet and withdrawn or irritable and cranky. Please excuse me if I seem rude, certainly not my intent. Sometimes the world around me goes too fast and I need to get off. When I walk away, I wish you would let me find a quiet place to spend time alone. I know it is miserablefor you to be around me when I’m feeling miserable. Please be as patient with me as I am with you. Being a bereaved parent is not contagious, so I wish you wouldn’t shy away from me. I need you now more than ever.

Thank you  for your patience and understanding as I experience these various phases of grief and hopefully, with God's help, who is my sole refuge,  I can go on with  this  new life without my  Perfect Angel  here on earth.




 
In The Light
A shadow of joy flickered; it is me.
I told you I wouldn't leave.
My spirit is with you.

My memories, my thoughts
are imbedded deep in your heart.
I still love you.
Do not for one moment think
that you have been abandoned.
I am in the Light.

In the corner, in the hall,
 the car, the yard --
these are the places I stay with you.

My spirit rises every time
you pray for me,
but my energy comes closer to you.
Love does not diminish,
 it grows stronger.

I am the feather that finds you in the yard,
the dimmed light that grows
brighter in your mind,
I place our memories for you to see.


We lived in our special way,
a way that now has its focus changed.
I still crave your understanding
and long for the many words of prayer
and good fortune for my soul.
I am in the Light.

As you struggle to adjust without me,
I watch silently.
Sometimes I summon up
all the strength of my new world
to make you notice me.

Impressed by your grief,
I try to impress my love
deeper into your consciousness.
As you should,
I call out to the Heavens for help.

My soul is now healthy.
Your love sends me new found energy.
I am adjusting to this new world.
I am with you
I am in the Light.

Please don't feel bad that you can't see me.
I am with you wherever you go.
I protect you,  
just as you protected me so many times.



Talk to me and somehow
 I will find a way to answer you.
I see you with my new eyes.

I am learning to help wherever you are,
wherever I am needed.
This can be done because
I am in the Light.

When you feel despair,
reach out to me andI will come.
Our love for you truly
does transcend from Heaven to Earth.

Finish your life with the enthusiasm
and zest that you had when  
we were together in the physical sense.

You owe this to me,
but more importantly,
you owe it to yourself.
Life continues for both of us.

I am with you because I love you
I am in the Light.


 
Why God Takes Children
When God calls little children
To dwell with Him above,
We mortals sometimes question
The wisdom of his love,

For no heartache compares with,
The death of one small child,
Who does so much to make our world,
Seem so wonderful and mild.

Perhaps God's tired of calling
The aged to His fold,
So He picks a rosebud
Before it can grow old.

God knows how much we need them,
And so he takes but few,
To make the land of heaven
More beautiful to view.

Believing this is difficult
Still somehow we must try,
The saddest word mankind knows
will always be Good~bye.

So when a little child departs,
We who are left behind
Must realize God loves children,
Angels are hard to find...

 
MY ANGEL

She means more to me, than life,
She's the wish I'd once dreamt,
She is an Angel, sent by God,
To ease my heart's lament.
She's my daughter, my prize,
The gleam within my eyes,
I love her more than anything,
And I hate it when she cries.
She gives me hope,
She gives me love,
And her hugs, they are the best,
She is all I ever dreamed of,
Apart from all the rest.
Her love is unconditional,
It comes straight from her heart,
Lifting me up when I am blue,
As she did right from the start.
I love my daughter with all my heart,
She's an Angel from above,
She has given me more
than I can give,
She taught me how to "love".

The death of a beloved
marks the beginning or renewal
 of a search for meaning.
This search takes time and often involves a struggle which
in itself can strengthen us.





 
I'll Be There
Daddy Please don't look so sad,
Momma please don't cry
"Cause I am in the arms of Jesus
and He sings me lullabies.

Please, try not to question God,
don't think he is unkind.
Don't think He sent me to you,
and then He changed His mind.

You see, I am a Special child,
and I'm needed up above.
I'm the Special gift you gave Him,
the product of your love.

I'll always be there with you,
and watch the sky at night.
Find the brightest star that's gleaming,
That's my halo's brilliant light.

You'll see me in the morning frost,
that mists your window pane.
That's me,in the summer showers,
I'll be dancing in the rain.

When you feel a little breeze,
from a gentle wind that blows.
That's me, I'll be there,
planting a kiss on your nose.

When you see a child playing,
 and your heart feels a little tug,
That's me, I'll be there
Giving your heart a hug.

So Daddy, please don't look so sad,
Momma don't you cry.
I'm in the arms of Jesus,
and He sings me lullabies.

 

Welcome Home


When I am gone,
release me, let me go.
I have so many things to see and do.
You must not tie yourself to me with tears.

Be happy that we had some  years.
I gave to you my love.
You can only guess how much
You gave to me in happiness.

I thank you for the love
 you each have shown.
But now it's time I traveled on alone.
So grieve a little while that we must.
Then let your grief be comforted by trust.

It's only for a while that we must part.
So bless with memories within your heart.
I won't be far away, for life goes on.
So if you need me, call and I will come.

Though you can't see or touch me,
I'll be near.
And if you listen with your heart,
you'll hear.

All of my love around you soft and clear.
And then, when you must come
 this way alone,
I'll greet you with a smile and
"WELCOME HOME"


 
Missing
my
Child
Another day without you
it never gets easier.
Passing time, saddening tears
makes me miss you all the more .

Hear me baby, hear your Mommy
as you live eternally.
I love you more than I can say
I ache to hold you close to me .
My heart will always have a hole
that only your life could fit into.
Life gives us pleasures
then takes them away
But with good reason
You're in God's home .
You taught  us the time
is not ours to choose.
You showed us love
 and the comfort of death.
You showed us
there is nothing to fear.

You are my perfect purest Angel.



 
THE GIRL
WHO LIVED
AT OUR HOUSE
Was she just imagination,
The girl I held so dear;
The one who lived at our house?
I remember her so clear.

I remember how she used to come,
When she was scared or hurt;
I used to wash her face and hands
When she made mud pies in the dirt.

I used to rock her in a chair
Till she was fast asleep;
And when her eyes would finally close
Past her bed I'd softly creep.

She only stayed a little while,
She won't come anymore,
Although I'll always wish I'd see her
Running through our door.

The girl who lived at our house,
Her smile, her angel's face;
Not only was she mine awhile,
She's also in God's grace.

God let me keep her for awhile,
The girl who lived with me;
And then He took her back again,
For Heaven's eternity.

And there, I know, she thinks of me,
Although she seems so far;
She'll look and smile and throw a kiss
From atop her heavenly star.

I'll see her again someday, I know,
When toward Heaven I too will depart.
But until I see her there with God,
I'll just keep her forever in my heart.


 UNTIL WE MEET AGAIN
 (shared by Tammie Marberry)
My life has changed so very much
Since the day you went away.
I know you are safe in Heaven
But, I miss you everyday.
My thoughts and prayers are with you
And everyday since then
I've been holding onto memories
Until we meet again.
I know someday that we'll meet again
In Heavens up above
Again we'll share those special times
Filled with life and love.
Some days are a struggle
But what keeps me on the mend
Is the certainty of believing
Someday we'll meet again.
The memories bring such comfort
I hold them oh, so dear
I will miss your smile and laughter
And the gentleness of your gaze.
I am sure you know  how I love you so
And will accept
the love and prayers I send
To surround you in a hug
Until we meet again.


 
IF I COULD HAVE YOU BACK
If  I could have you back  for just one day
There would be so many things
I would like to say.
If I could just be with you for one whole day,
To have you close
and know that you really are okay.

If only I had known
that you would be gone forever.
If only I had known
 all those ties were going to be severed.
If only I had known the pain, the loss,
and the ache to come my way.
If only I never knew the difference
life without you would make.

In the darkness of your pain
you slipped away from us all.
Now it's just your memories
that we have to recall.

They say that parting is such sweet sorrow,
But it's the longing, the wondering,
 and how to cope with tomorrow.
They say that
grieving a child is the very worst,
because life's plan is that
 the parents should go first.

Now all we have are memories,
the good times that we had.
We spend so much time
 in tears and pain and feeling sad.

If we could have you back
for just one day,
You  could let us know
 how to cope  until that judgment day,
When we'll be together as a family once again,
When we'll all be happy
and free from all this pain.

It's so hard to live when your child has to die,
For then we spend our lifetime
trying to say Goodbye.


 
ANGEL
Although you can't hold me no more,
But it doesn't mean I'm gone,
This world was no longer worthy of me,
God chose that I move on.

I know the pain that drowns your soul,
What you are forced to face-
You have my word, I'll fill your arms,
Someday we will embrace.

You'll hear that it was "meant to be,
God doesn't make mistakes",
But that won't soften your worst blow,
Or make your heart not ache.

I'm watching over all you do,
As you go on with your life without me,
Believe me when I say to you,
That I am always there.

There'll come a time, I promise you,
When you will hold my hand,
Stroke my face and kiss my lips,
And then you'll understand.

Although I'll  never breath your air
Or gazed into your eyes again,
That doesn't mean I'll never will,
Your perfect Angel is waiting for you.
 
PLEASE WAIT FOR ME

Now that you're gone
I don't know what to do
When it was God's time
 to take someone
I never thought it'd be you.

I cried since the day you left,
and still I am.
I miss you so much,
words could never say
For by my side
is where I wanted you to stay..

All I could feel when I lost you was pain.
I lost so much when I lost you,
I lost my precious child,
 my best friend,
 my  heart, my life.
I know I shouldn't think of the loss,
but it's harder than it seems.

I'll never forget
All the time we spent,
All the places we went,
All the memories we made,
All the love we shared.

I know you're in heaven now,
and that you're all right.
I can't wait to see you again,
I think about it every night.

 I know you're watching down on me
I feel it in my heart
Since the day we were broken apart.

We'll be together again someday,
My perfect Angel I'm going to see.
But until I make it there,
Please  wait for me.


 
ANGEL
FRIENDS

A beautiful little angel
showed up to Heaven's gates
Confused and unknowing
the plan that for her awaits.

Then another little angel
walked up and took her hand and said,
 "Please don't be sad you left,
you're in the Promised Land."

"I'm glad to be here but
I do not think I was to go,
Perhaps there was a mistake,
for my Mommy wanted me so."

The little greeting angel
gave a sweet smile and said,
"My mommy wanted me too,
but to Heaven I was led.
You see, we do not get to choose
when on Earth it's time to go.
He gave us life, love and joy
and a mother's womb to grow.
The Lord still needs new angels
to guide them down on earth.
To watch over, comfort them,
and help them see their worth."

"Is there still a way
that I can sleep in my mommy's bed?"
The greeting angel grinned and said,
"that luxury you'll keep.
I visit my mommy nightly
and softly sing her to sleep."

The little angel replied,
"then I think I'll like it here.
I'll visit my mommy nightly
and weaken her pain and fears.
I love her and will keep her
safe at night and in between,
And let her know
with a sweet memory
that she is still with me."

The greeting angel gave her new friend
a big hug and said,
"Until our Mommy's meet us here,
let's be best angel friends."
"Okay," said the new angel,
"that sounds good to me."

Then the angels sat and played
keeping their Mommy's in sight,
Humming the tunes to the song
they would sing
to their mommies tonight.
LINKS FOR POEMS
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If you have any poem or links of poem to share,   pls E-mail it to me and I will gladly post it here.
Thank you.


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